In most cases, it is not a good idea to make any major changes for at least a year after the death has occurred. Unless it’s necessary, don’t put your house up for sale or move to another town. You’ll need the support of your friends more than ever now. You might want to leave town for short periods to visit family and friends. Be careful about running too fast and too far. In time, you’ll probably realize you find contentment in familiar surroundings.
Many widowed persons have found that it helps to sleep on their spouse’s side of the bed. Try it and see.
TALK! The more you share your loss with others, the more you’ll help yourself. Good grieving is active grieving. Tell your story over and over again to all who will listen. You can’t talk too much about your loved one in the first six months.
CRY! Tears are healing. Tears of grief have a toxic enzyme in them which needs to be released. Don’t hold them in. If you don’t feel comfortable crying in public, find a time to do it in private. Allow yourself that time to grieve. Many people look at picture albums, play music or do something else that helps to make the tears flow freely.
Take care of yourself. Make sure you eat nutritional meals, get enough sleep and exercise. Exercise is not only for your physical self, it’s a must for your emotional well-being.
Do you have good locks on your doors and windows? You may find that by adding outdoor lighting or other security features, you’ll sleep better.
Many people in grief find that their sleep patterns change. A common complaint is awakening around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. If this happens to you, take this time to write down your thoughts. Getting them out of your mind and on paper should make it easier for you to fall asleep.
DON’T LET OTHERS TAKE YOUR GRIEF AWAY! Some may try. It’s O.K. to be a little selfish. Allow yourself to take care of yourself before you take care of others.
Learn to let things go. You can’t do everything your spouse did. This is your grieving time - use it. Grief is exhausting. Expect that you’ll be capable of doing less, not more, for now.
Seek out support. Rely on those friends who are supportive and search out new friends who understand. Find a support group and commit to attend it regularly.
Realize that you never get over your grief, but you will learn to accept the loss. You will eventually remember that person without the anger and emotions you may now feel.